When I took the indumind training Identify Your Strengths, it was not without some skepticism about the product.
I had a hard time believing that I could learn anything about myself or move on my beliefs and habits, just by listening to some audio files.
My problem when I started was that I was on sick leave due to stress / depression, possibly with some form of postpartum depression, it is not completely clarified.
During my pregnancy, my husband was reported sick with stress, so in addition to the fact that I myself was having a hard time with pelvic pain, I also had a man who needed extra support, a support that I had a hard time giving him at the time.
When our son was born, it turned out after a few days that he could not be breastfed in the usual way, he lost a lot of weight and we were readmitted and our son had to have food partly by me and partly by tube.
Our son had to follow a three-hour eating program which meant he had to eat every three hours, regardless of whether he had spent an hour eating, then he had to have food in two hours. In the two hours I had to eat, sleep, bathe and milk myself for his next meal. On top of this situation, our son is also particularly sensitive and this meant that he could only be with his father or I until he himself began to show signs of interest in the outside world. His daily life is today two years later, still characterized by the fact that it must not deviate too much from the routines, but it has gotten much better and he grows with the task.
It was inhumanly hard to be 1000% on in relation to both child and husband and also have a teenage son who had to be taken care of, so as the time approached for me to return to work after childbirth, I broke down. I was tired with tired, worn out in body and soul and had a bad conscience about blaming my husband that he could not take over and blame my little son for demanding so much of me.
I preferred not to go outside a door, but at the same time had a huge need to get out of the home which I eventually considered a prison. I withdrew from my girlfriends and family, and did not feel like I had any place where I could be at peace and was well old fashioned tired of my life.
In connection with an internship, I was introduced to indumind, and as previously mentioned did not have the great confidence that it would work on me.
The first induminds I listened to were about the content of my thoughts and here I was actually a little impressed. I found that by giving my thoughts some conscious attention, I could learn to sort through them. I did not think you could, but you can.
I learned to turn it off thoughts And I learned that I am in control, thoughts are not just something that is there, it is something that I generate and therefore also be responsible for.
After some time giving my thoughts some more attention in this way, I discovered that I had more peace in my head. My head was no longer filled with all sorts of "noise", and I had to replace more and more negative thoughts with positive thoughts and just that, was self-reinforcing so I thought more and more positive thoughts and quietly my view changed on more thing.
The subsequent induminds were about emotions and how I can use them actively, and how thoughts evoke emotions and vice versa.
I learned more to accept my husband's course of illness and no longer be so bitter about him, I learned that he has done everything he could with the resources he had, just as I have done everything I could with the resources I had and have .
It was a relief no longer to be angry and burnt out, but just to feel how the fog lifted quietly - and all I did was invest 20 mins a day listening to an audio file.
It has turned many things inside me and I can not fully explain what worked, I just know that I have a much easier time managing my everyday life, I am a more present and positive mother, I hold more, have greater patience and best of all: I have more peace in my head and thereby stress less.
I no longer have the voice that constantly lists what I need to achieve, that it is too bad that I am not done, now I get less sleep and it is also always me who has to do everything, etc., etc. in the negative tone .
I enjoy days off with our little son and I enjoy watching him and seeing how he develops.
One situation where it really dawned on me that a change had taken place in me was one day I was standing by the kitchen sink peeling potatoes. My little son was playing on the floor and I was a little annoyed that he definitely had to play right where I was standing and working. He pushed several times to me and wanted to show me something and pulled at my trouser legs. Just like I was going to get really mad and tell him he had to wait, something else happened in me.
I took a deep breath and sat down squatting to him, asking to see what it was he wanted to show me. He handed me a toy truck and a loose wheel and babbled something I could not understand, but I understood that it was about him not being able to understand where this wheel should sit. I picked him up on my lap and we talked about the truck and the wheel. After a minute, he was pleased with the explanation, and crawled down to the floor again and continued playing. When I got up again and wanted to continue with the potatoes, it dawned on me how EASY it was! And COZY! It gave me a great feeling that I had done something profitable and oh my god, those potatoes will probably have time to be peeled, it is not that important.
It took a minute of presence to get rid of the bad mood and irritation inside me, and gave a thousand times joy and energy in return and I felt like dropping the cooking, ordering a pizza and just sitting on the floor and ENJOY my son.
I feel how great my love is for my little son and how proud of him I am. It's ok that I have not just prepared dinner or emptied the trash, it does not stress me anymore because that I have got a closer and more present relationship with him.
indumind has made me want to learn more about how I can influence myself positively and influence others positively for the effect I can feel on myself and my family, you become completely dependent on it.
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